And when it comes time to put the pieces together it's too hard to tell what went where.
I didn't get put back together the same after my last break. Maybe so I'll never be able to trust anyone, I mean I have been subject to so many betrayals; when my mother left, when my father wrote me off, the first time she hit me, the time he took what I wasn't giving, and the fucked up acts of someone I could 'consider a dad'. I guess to make matters worse I didn't pick the most trustworthy lad to start this endeavor with. A laundry list of cheating, and fucking people over and I'm supposed to hand my heart over no strings attached?
I just wish that I could go back, tell myself to think it over.. I'm to weak to handle much more, and I'm afraid of not doing what's best for my son. I wish that somehow he knew in his heart that the baby boy would grow into a man who will carry the pain of his absence with him the entirety of his life. That his actions have consequences that will affect our lives and our hearts forever.
