And when it comes time to put the pieces together it's too hard to tell what went where.
I didn't get put back together the same after my last break. Maybe so I'll never be able to trust anyone, I mean I have been subject to so many betrayals; when my mother left, when my father wrote me off, the first time she hit me, the time he took what I wasn't giving, and the fucked up acts of someone I could 'consider a dad'. I guess to make matters worse I didn't pick the most trustworthy lad to start this endeavor with. A laundry list of cheating, and fucking people over and I'm supposed to hand my heart over no strings attached?
I just wish that I could go back, tell myself to think it over.. I'm to weak to handle much more, and I'm afraid of not doing what's best for my son. I wish that somehow he knew in his heart that the baby boy would grow into a man who will carry the pain of his absence with him the entirety of his life. That his actions have consequences that will affect our lives and our hearts forever.
No comments:
Post a Comment