I feel like it's ABSOLUTLY impossible for him to ever just tell me things the way they happened. To be honest with me, I don't have any secrets, I don't have any desire to betray his trust, and even more so it pains me to think of doing things that would hurt him. Yet for some reason I feel like he gets off to all the things that break me down, in lies, and going behind my back. Craigslist cost me one relationship, I wonder if it'll go as far to cost my son a father. And how I wish someone would explain to me what these girls did for him that made it so impossible for him not to acquire and wonder about them.
I don't fucking get it, I feel like this relationship is going nowhere for in his head he's so CONVINCED he'd be better off with anyone but me.
Sometimes it feels like history repeating itself, me and Chris failed because I hated how he couldn't ever be happy with me and what I had to offer and it feels as though I'm in the same boat. Destined to end up in the same heartbreak.. With the same, 'it's too hard to be faithful' mentality driving the boat. GOD FUCKING DAMN IT.
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