In just 11 weeks we will greet our beautiful creation into the world, he will take his first birth and we'll take our last of our old lives.
I just want to know that me staying here with Ramiro is in fact the right thing to do, I know the struggle that will occur if I try to leave and the fight that will surely take place, and the very real possibility of history repeating itself from the former generation.
I just wish I could fast forward and know if he'll ever really love me, and open up to me. If he'll ever be okay with being faithful, and loyal, and settling down.
If he'll ever think of me as highly as he thought of her.
But I know better, I know the answer to that, and I'm holding on to such silly hopes.
I am going to end it whenever he gets home.
I have to safe guard myself and my son, and love later.
It kills me to say goodbye, I love him more than I loved Chris, more than I loved anyone. More than everything, he was the half of my puzzle. But why hold on to what was never really mine.
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